lolcats have sold out: advertisers strive to show they're still "with it"

This is not a laughing matter -- let alone a lol one.

Looking forward to the new Geometry Wars: Galaxies?
A video game with "geometry" in the title -- who wouldn't?

Well, as if that wasn't enough to ensnare any high schooler, they've also got a lolcats ad campaign.

Highlights include this poorly-photoshopped tv with angry cat:

A cat looking bored as hell while its owner games like a champ (not a good sign):

And the ever-popular demon cat. Look closely, part of its tail appears to be severed. That ain't right:

As if it wasn't enough to take this dated Internet meme and produce some exceptionally unfunny ads, they even botched the lolcat syntax. Didn't one of these advertisers have a 14 year old they could have called over to "help daddy make an ad?"

Once this appears in AdAge and the rest of the advertising world jumps on the bandwagon, it'll stop being cool. And then what will be the next sell-out Internet meme? Hmm...

Big tip o' the hat to S.I. for sending me teh lols.

spamming for the sake of spam

I really don't think spammers are trying anymore. Behold this gem from Casey Preston (rsn@bodensteiner.com)
Casey - 100% results.

Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lolGy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.Gy, lol.
Everyone knows it's poor form to put your own name in the subject line. Tisk tisk.

And am I not worth including even one link? What's the point of this second-rate, bush league spamming?

reddit evolution

After a day devoid of alien, the process of creating a new one would need to start from scratch.

And that means evolving the alien from a few cells (yes, those are supposed to be cells, not floating eyeballs) in some primordial ooze. Fortunately, our time-traveling mascot will be able to expedite this process so it only takes a week. I understand such things normally take much longer.

Cells are dividing. See, Ellen (evolutionary biology PhD student) I'm finally doing that alien evolution series you suggested so long ago. I just couldn't wait until Darwin's birthday. The next few days could get interesting; natural selection isn't always pretty. I thought it'd be best to explain before the logos got even weirder.

I wasn't kidding when I said this would be an epic doodle series, Homer wishes he could see this -- well, he'd probably wish he could see.

aliens vs. redditor

Kinda. Two weeks ago, our alien mascot was trapped on LV-426 before being rescued by the USCM. After donning a pink shirt for the weekend, the week started out fairly innocuously.
Maybe it was just some gas from those terrible army rations.

Then it suddenly became clear that this wasn't just gastrointestinal issues.

Instead of producing the complicated animated .gif depicting the chestburster erupting from the alien's stomach, I opted to go right to the last frame. If you're curious to know what it looked like, here's the original scene from Alien. Trust me, this was really scary back when it first came out.
The result? A reddit-alien alien.

Modeled after the almighty Queen, we needed Ripley.

It turned out Ripley was dead (and cloning her again would be too much trouble -- besides, it didn't turn out too well in Alien Resurrection) so we got a predator.

Cue triumphant predator roar.

(thanks to "Anonymous" for this great suggestion)

And now what? At the moment, we're mascotless...

best ad ever

You may have noticed some ads here on redditAll. I've signed up with AdBrite not to find blogging millions, but to see just how broken online advertising can be.

They are sending me some fantastic advertisements. Let's see here, I used the keyword "geek" in describing the blog. So that explains the MySpace-ish photos of the fake blond (apparently we have a weakness for fake blonds).

The three question marks really entice the viewer. What could be so important to merit three question marks???

And there's something to be said for ALL CAPS. I suspect there's empirical evidence proving humans are more likely to follow written instructions when written without lowercase.

What could be the product behind this savvy advertising campaign?

Did you guess pheromones? +5 points for you.

I'm awarding this campaign the first "best ad ever" gold star award. Hopefully it'll be the first of many.

Congratulations.

flickring hope for global pirate appreciation

Yesterday was International Talk Like a Pirate Day and even flickr got festive. This is the same flickr that switched its release from "BETA" to "GAMMA" in a savvy move that reminded me of a certain web 2.0 mock-up (emphasis on the mock) that I'd seen months earlier...

But if it hadn't been for flickr, I'd have forgotten all about this important Pirate holiday. I didn't want to risk derailing this epic logo series I've had running for the last three weeks, so I improvised. Always one to respect and celebrate different cultures, our alien's final words were in pirate.
Yes, a chestburster did indeed pop out of it's tummy. This logo epic is not for the faint of heart.

a modest proposal, really: donating a globe to a school in Sherri Shepherd's hometown

Some folks got onto the forum of Sherri Shepherd's website to discuss her comments about the world being flat. Needless to say, it's pretty harsh.

Looking back on what I wrote this morning, I felt a bit guilty.

But this gave me an idea. I wanted to actually donate a globe to a public school. I was recently introduced to a fantastic site, DonorsChoose, which lets teachers create proposals for micro-philanthropists to fulfill (thanks, Joel).

I searched for projects including "globe" in Los Angeles (Mrs. Shepherd currently resides in L.A., according to her MySpace page) and didn't come up with any results. But I wouldn't be thwarted that easily, so I searched Chicago (the city of her birth, according to Wikipedia).

There I found an elementary school teacher who needed funding for a project called Mapping Our Way To The World! Perfect, this teacher wants to buy a globe and "hands-on mapping activities" -- hopefully that means Risk.

The whole process only took a minute and hopefully these kids will now graduate knowing the world is indeed round. Or at least they won't have an excuse not to.

Thanks, Sherri Shepherd (I donated it in your name).

rubbing it in, my fantasy superiority

Last year, despite how much I love professional football, I was dead last in my NFL fantasy league. Steve would regularly remind me of this fact. Even months after the season ended. It was my first try at fantasy football and the idea of drafting the entire Skins lineup seemed like a good idea at the time.

It's like putting all of your eggs in one basket, only dumber, because you've put the basket in the middle of a busy freeway.

This year, we switched away from Yahoo! to a startup called Fleaflicker. So far, it's been a much improved experience for two important reasons. Not only is Fleaflicker a superior site (with a cool mascot, too) -- I'm also currently at the top of my league.


I'm not sure how long this will last, so I'm writing about it now to properly rub it in. You'll notice that Steve (spez) is second, which really just makes him a loser. I'll keep the updates coming as the season progresses. That is, until I start losing, in which case you won't hear anything more about it. Steve doesn't have a blog, so this story will disappear faster than a Gitmo detainee.

a simple solution for america's educational failings

The reddit community is aghast at what co-host Sherri Shepherd of The View said when asked if the world was flat.
"…I Don’t know."
She "never thought about it," but she has in fact thought about "how I’m going to feed my child."

As a twenty-four year old without children, I have the time to ponder the shape of our world. She doesn't. I consider being able to feed just myself an accomplishment.

What's more frustrating is that Whoopi keeps wasting her time probing about the shape of the Earth. The ladies of The View could have been using that time to discuss the nuances of string theory (Elizabeth Hasselbeck is a huge Brian Green fan).

Besides, so-called "intellectuals" like Thomas Friedman have only muddied the waters. His very popular (and evidently very misleading) book, The World is Flat, probably caught Mrs. Shepherd's eye.

Just whose side are you on, Mr. Friedman? It's time you were held accountable, but that's for another day.

Now, before we go burning Mrs. Shepherd at the stake (that's what scientists are for) we should consider the broader implications of her comments. It reveals the failings of our education system. Juxtapose Mrs. Shepherd's comments with those of Ms. South Carolina:

"[...]some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future."
Not only do Americans not have maps. Those that do can't use them. Worse, they think the Earth really looks like that (flat and all squished out -- c'mon, Greenland looks frigging huge!).
My solution? Globes in every classroom!